Where do you get your hair done?

LOL, now that I have this pixie hair going, I ran into a woman at a school play tonight who complimented me on my hair. She asked where I get it done, I told her its called a Chemo Cut!! LOL
She hadn't realized why my hair is this way, but she laughed along with me, =). Actually my hair looks kind of cute like this, BUT...once I lose it again-probably within the next 7 days, and once it grows back again, i will NEVER EVER cut it again. I'll be that awesome cool old lady with hair down to her butt. And you will look at me and smile and say what a cool old lady!! I ran into my oncologist during chemo yesterday and put in a request for a straight hair chemicalto be added to my chemo, she asked if I wanted the blonde added too, told her nah, i'll just box dye it you promise me straight hair on this go round!

F & F's



The Love of my brother Josh, who shave his head for me!



Me and Deb wearing scarves, playing guess the cancer chick wehen out in public

                                                         Last day at Radiation with Sandy

F & F’s….aka Family and Friends. I have got to say that my family amazes me! My kids, my husband, my siblings, my cousins and my nieces and nephews, aunts and uncles have all pulled together during this. After all if us facing the death of my Dad in June, there was a point where we all pulled together and then drifted for a moment or two in order to deal with our own personal grief over losing Dad. Finding out that I had cancer knocked everyone over and just didn’t seem fair at all. I think that was one of things that totally pissed me off, was that how could G-d do this to a family that just suffered a horrible loss, how could he ask them to go through this again? My younger nephew was scared I would die ;my nieces as well, and I reassure them that their Aunt Rif will not leave them and I will be here for them, might look a little funky and different but it will still be me. My darling Caroline lent me a tie dyed bandana that she made in Girl Scouts and I wear it proudly. My niece Rose wrote out all the lyrics to Katie Perry’s Firework song, which seems to have become my family song for me. All my little nieces’ and nephews came over and tried on my wigs, the afro the short black hair, the real wig that I could wear in out in public and course the neon PINK wig long haired wig  that I bought offline at a party store, its everyone’s favorite. Very hot and  looks great on!!My cousin’s and their children in Israel got to together and made me, the best hand designed designeds tee shirt, I wear  them all the time!

 I talk to all the kids on an open basis based on their ages and assure the ones who ask about death that I won’t die on then. I tell them that G-d isn’t ready for both their Zada (Yiddish for grandfather) and me to be there together yet!  It would cause too much havoc in Heaven! When I state Cancer a day of No Hair, and I go out without a scarf or hat, I find that adults are so weird about it!!! The turn and stare and …look away around trying to avoid eye contact and whisper to the friends. I’ve been asked personal questions by unexpected adults “: Did you lose your HAIR down there too?????? They were all dying to know.so let me put it this way….YUP…smooth as a baby down below!

 I  give credit to a woman at acme while was picking out Valentines Cards next me line, tuned to me in the sweetest voice and dead serious and said I hope God see you through this and pray that you make it. It was said with such sincerity that she made me cry and I want to hug her, but she floated away like a angel. The impact that she left on a total stranger was amazing. I hope to run into her again in the store and give her a huge hug. Sometimes the simplest words mean so much.

 Some of the adults approach me with question  you wouldn’t  normally ask a person, kind of like going up to a pregnant woman and touching her belly w/o permission asking about the weight of the baby, boy or girl ugly or pretty etc,,,. Kids on the other hand are more open in their reactions they, tend to take it all in and just smile these beautiful smiles at me. I got a hug book of notes from Joanne’s Kindergarten class, they blew me away with the love all for a lady they don’t now.

For all the friends that have stayed and are physically part of this ordeal, I thank you from the bottom heart…your help has gotten me thru some stuff times, with meals being made,contributions for groceries, rides, emails, cards and random emails.  Some friends have come and gone, not being able to Handle this or how I look and I find that so sad and depressing, I am still ME damnit, bald, skinny, ME. But I have learned that people can only handle so much and if this scares you too much, well guess what darling it scares me too and I can’t run away from it. So if you’re one of those people, give me  call, tell me you are afraid, let me explain it to you…My world is a bit lonely and I’d like you back as a friend. I want you to understand and I want you to be comfortable. But if that is not to be, then I wish you well.<3

Bec

MOHAWK!

Yeah BUZZ this!

22 Inches from scalp to bottom

Lightened and straightened!

Um, read the hats...F Cancer!



Does this shirt make me look bald??



What Cancer has taught me.....

What Cancer has taught me……

Cancer – the other bad “C” word

Cancer – The quickest way to learn who your real friends are

Cancer – the test of marriage and parenting that no book can guide you on

Cancer – a word that makes people turn away from you as if they may catch it if they look at you or touch you

Cancer – the loneliest word, the loneliest place, the loneliest existence

Cancer – the thief of mind, body, soul and hair

Cancer – the taker of appetite and strength

Cancer – the new reality of your life

Cancer – Who the hell decided that should be a zodiac sign??

Cancer – no hair, no eyebrows, scarves, wigs, no hair gel, no hair dryers or hairspray… people stare or look away so fast you’d think they’d get whiplash!

Cancer – No bad hair days

Cancer – NO HAIR DAYS!

Cancer – always cold, followed by hot flashes

Cancer – OH MY G-D I have cancer { whisper it }

Cancer – a test of friendship and faith

Cancer – quick showers, no shaving required

Cancer – a weight loss program that is too easy

Cancer – a drug for nausea, a drug for pain, a drug for aches, a drug for radiation burns, a drug for this, a drug for that…a Pharmacy’s Dream Patient

Cancer – an end to life as you knew it

Cancer – the beginning of a new and different life

                                                                                                                                                                                                        Rebecca Mayer

                                                                                                                                                                                                        February 20, 2011

My first try at this......

Hope you like the name of this blog, I went thru a few before deciding on this one. Ready for the list? We had: Kiwi Head (my husbands name for my little hair fuzz), CC & The Sunshine Head, Scalp Sprouts and Shiny Globe, just to name a few.
Ok, so can you tell that I like Jimi Hendrix, based on my blog title?
I've been writing since I was little and keep a journal when I need to get shit out of my head and I thought I would give a blog a try.
So here's the scoop, I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Lung Cancer on October 20, 2010. Three months prior to this, I buried my father who died from cancer. So my first reaction to the news of my cancer was WTF! Seriously??? Damn!
Talk about changing your world with a few words.......
So began the journey, the experience...the hell and the fears and the laughter that comes and goes...
Surgery to remove the tumor was scheduled for November 8th, but during the mediastanoscopy, my amazing surgeon found that the cancer had spread to the lymp nodes...so I was sewn up and sent home.
Radiation and chemo started a week later. My hair was 21 inches long, I've always hidden behind my hair, it was my thing.People know/knew me by either my long hair or my raspy sexy voice. I started losing my hair 3 weeks into chemo, thinning and coming out in huge clumps. This lead to the ultimate Buzz Cutting Ceremony! One 16 inch braid chopped off, followed by random cuts by my kids and husband.....my only rule was to leave the hair down the center of my head alone...that hair belonged to me.....having gone to college for Art in the 80's, I always wanted a Mohawk!! and damnit I was getting one!! The Mohawk stood about 6 inches off my head! It was awesome and then it was gone. The rest of my hair fell out over the next few weeks and let me tell you its freaking cold in PA in the winter! I don't know how men do the short hair thing.
Anyway, after going thru chemo and radiation hell, chemo ended 1/5/11, radiation ended 1/6/11, I lost my job of 9 years on 1/7/11 due to FMLA running out. Talk about a slap in the face. So here I sat, bald, sick and unemployed and waiting to heal enough for surgery, and find out that my insurance had maxxed out at my lifetime benefits!! It was another WTF moment! Everything was delayed... We eventually got this fixed, got on another insurance, was able to get my Pet Scan done and FINALLY headed into surgery on February 28th.
Surgery showed that all my lymph nodes were dead- YAY!! But the tumor was still active.....and now here we go again!
I have 4 months of chemo to do, same cocktail as before...Taxol & Carbo. Say goodbye to my peach fuzzy head...but that's ok, hair is minor...but damn I would kill for a curtain of hair to hide behind.
I have no problem going out in public as Baldylocks, but adults are so weird when they see a bald chick...kids are so cool about it...more on that later.
Anyway, I am writing this because it feels good to write, sometimes its better than face to face talking with people....This won't be a depressing blog, as my friends and family will tell you, I try to find a positive in each day and to laugh and joke about it all, lifes too short to always be serious!
Until the next post...
Xo
Chemo Chick