Chemopause 4 now in 3D- Grab those special glasses

Chemopause 4 now  in 3D- Grab those special glasses

Chem-o-pause (noun/adjective)

 Source of word: Made up by Rebecca Mayer

Definition: 1. The pause in chemo that happens when you are in Remission

Pause-temporary inaction especially as caused by uncertainty

Hi there,

Today I celebrate Chemopause 4 in 3D! Why 3D?  Why not…last year it was Chemopause the Musical, this year it’s 3D since I have recently seen some 3D movies.  Or maybe it’s because I am more than one dimensional, multi dimensional Rebecca, yep that makes sense to me, maybe to you also.

As of today I have been in Chemopause for

4 years
48 months
209 weeks
1,461 days
35,078 hours
2,104,691 minutes
126,281,485 seconds

It’s been a year of ups and downs, good, bad, in between as I’m sure everyone can relate to in their own lives. I am happy to be here. I am still dealing with pain, in my bones, so bad at times that I can’t do things I want to do. Other times it’s tolerable…it annoys the hell out of me. I gave up on trying to work out in a gym, as the treadmill just caused more pain and the elliptical (my old friend) is just not doable anymore for me. There are other treatment related issues I deal with but I won’t bore you with a big list. I’m a different version of me than I used to be.

 I’ve been attending a Cancer Support Meeting once a month, it just recently started and I am thankful for my Social Worker, Ruthmary for listening to me and others about the need for a support group for us “others”, the ones with Cancer’s that don’t have a huge support system…we are a mixed group of people.  We may be what I call the “others” but we are just as important and going through just as difficult times and feelings. Something we all seem to relate to in our little group. I’ve met and become friends with some really great people. It’s great to hear each other talk about things, because only a person who has gone through or is going through this journey, will ever be able to truly understand what is being said. People mean well when they comment “ You look great” or “Now you can put this behind you” , but in reality there is no putting it behind you, it is something we live with, memories that are scary, thoughts about the future that are just as scary. But we can also laugh about things, because as warped as it may seem at times, there are still things from this journey that make us smile. For me, it would be the day a new nurse flushed my port out with saline and missed the port and filled my boob with saline. Ok, it was very painful, stung like hell and I commented that I thought my ‘girls’ were just fine and didn’t need saline implants. Incidentally, that nurse didn’t last long at the office. Or my infamous “I’m Being Deported” tee shirt that I wore the day I got my port taken out. I love that my incredible surgeon has a photo in his office of me and him, with me wearing the shirt right before he took me into the OR. Also there is a picture of me in the hospital with my bald head, wearing my Dollar Store tiara and earrings, 4 days after lung surgery, as I declared myself the Cancer Queen (yes I was on heavy meds/morphine etc)

I was honored to be honored this year at Survivors Night; I received an award for my Rebecca’s Chemo Closet. It felt really great and I love that I can help others even in a small way.  I have started a GoFundMe page, as I am trying to raise money to buy more items for Cancer patients in need.  Please visit my page, a $5 donation will help buy nutrition drinks. http://www.gofundme.com/vt5t84

 I’m also really into Healing Touch and have been going for those sessions on a continuing basis. Ok, before you think that it’s some ‘smack you on the head, you are HEALED” thing, let me explain. It’s more of a mind/body experience and extremely relaxing. The definition is “Healing Touch is a therapy that helps to restore and balance energy that has been depleted due to stress, illness, injury, grief, medical conditions, surgery or medical treatments such as chemotherapy and radiation.”

The woman who volunteers her time for Cancer patients is just one of those amazing people that really cares about what she is doing and really helps me relax. Each session is an opportunity for me to relax my non-stop brain and just kind of float for a while.  I’ve also been doing Mindfulness Meditation, another way to leave yourself behind for a bit and let your mind go elsewhere.

Anxiety is a huge part of my journey, and learning new ways to deal with it are comforting to me.

In other news (ok, now I sound like an old holiday newsletter)….We now have 4 dogs, I have my own little pack going here!! Sophie came to us in November and Shilo came home in May. Shilo was born on my Dad’s birthday, March 18^th J Sophie just turned 1 in June, Marley just turned 9 and Katie is 13 and has dementia. It’s an interesting group of furballs and I love it!

Michael has been home since May and we take him back to college next Friday…sigh…I don’t know that I am ready for that yet…LOL, um he never fully unpacked for the summer so it should be easy to repack him up. I’m going to miss him a lot….. L But he has promised to skype more often this semester.

Rachel is getting married in 18 days!! OMG, my daughter is getting married in 18 days…. I really can’t believe how quickly time has flown by!! It sounds cliché, but it feels like she was just a tiny baby not too long ago. Her wedding gown is beyond gorgeous and just seeing her in it for fittings makes me cry. I can’t wait to share pics form the wedding. I’m so grateful that I am still here to see my baby girl walk down the aisle!

For my friends who are living with Cancer, caring for someone with Cancer or have lost a loved one to Cancer, I send you my love and hugs.

Although I may not always feel this way every day, I think this song says it for me this year:

(What a) Wonderful World

Song by Louis Armstrong

I see trees of green, red roses, too,
I see them bloom, for me and you
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue, and clouds of white,
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world.

The colors of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky,
Are also on the faces of people going by.
I see friends shaking hands, sayin', "How do you do?"
They're really sayin', "I love you."

I hear babies cryin'. I watch them grow.
They'll learn much more than I'll ever know
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world

Yes, I think to myself
What a wonderful world

J So go out and enjoy this wonderful world, look at the clouds, stare at the stars, find your rainbow and always be grateful for every day that you have.

With love and hugs

Rebecca