Chemopause 3- “The Musical”

Chemopause 3- “The Musical”

Chem-o-pause (noun/adjective)

 Source of word: Made up by Rebecca Mayer

Definition: 1. The pause in chemo that happens when you are in Remission

Pause-temporary inaction especially as caused by uncertainty

Hi All,

Today I celebrate Chemopause 3- “The Musical” (LOL, it just felt like it should say that)

Please feel free to make up a song and sing it to me. Hmmm, maybe I should make up a song too. I know I don’t write much in my blog, I do however write a great deal on scraps of paper, journals, notebooks, my hands…..well you get the point. Sometimes my thoughts are just too private to share with anyone.

We all feel like that at times.

But today I share this with you, I hope you read it.

As of today August 10, 2014, I have been in Chemopause (see above definition) for:

3 years
36 months old.
157 weeks old.
1,096 days old.
26,323 hours old.
1,579,403 minutes old.
94,764,206 seconds old.

As I stated in my last posting, no I did not become a Math Genius from all that freaking chemo and radiation! There is a great site I use for people’s birthdays, it’s a lot of fun/cool facts, check it out, plug your birthday in: http://www.paulsadowski.com/Birthday.asp

It’s been a decent year, a lot of things happening in my little world. Good things, sad things….changes galore.

J In HAPPY NEWS: 

Rachel  will be getting married in 1 year and 18 days!!!! She found the perfect wedding gown a few weeks ago, she is stunning in it!!!! It made me cry when she walked out!! This is such a happy thing for all of us!  I can’t wait to walk my baby girl walk down the aisle!

Michael graduated High School in June! He is leaving for college in 10 days! He’s going to Edinboro University in Edinboro, Pa (near Erie Pa, 7 ½ hours away, over 400 miles) He will be majoring in Forensic Science, in the HONORS Program!! He wants to do blood spatter and DNA analysis! All those years of horror movies and Dexter seem to have had an effect on him. LOL.

My grapevines have gone totally ballistic!! It’s time to make jelly this week! I can’t wait to do that! 

Sadly 2 of my beautiful Butterfly bushes didn’t make it through the hellish winter we had, but my hummingbirds are here in full force and the other 2 butterfly bushes are blooming, so I do have butterflies. My yard is like a Broomall version of Animal Planet or the Discovery Channel. I had an eagle here a week or so ago, hawks circling, turkey vultures, the possum is enjoying the grapes that fall on the ground, as are the birds and squirrels and other creatures that make it over or under my fence to get to the food. The hummingbirds still come right up to my face and chirp that amazes me every time!

A friend of mine recently said that she envisions me as Snow White in my yard. J That really made me smile! (now where did my 7 little friends go??)

Health wise I am doing ok. 

Still dealing with a bunch of long term side effects, knowing now that they will never go away. Trying to find some alternative ways to deal with certain long term issues.

I stopped the medicine I was taking for the neuropathy, as it was affecting my mental status and made me so depressed, that I was thinking things that were not normal. It’s bizarre the effects that medicine can have on people, and I think what’s even more bizarre is that doctors do not always inform patients of the serious things to look out for while on certain meds. My surgeon told me to throw the meds out, I did. The medicine made me feel suicidal.

I still take meds for bone and muscle pain when I need to. They help on those bad nights.

There needs to be more support for ALL Cancer patients to deal with the long term issues you face after treatment. It seems that some oncologist feel that a ‘treat and street” you approach is ok, it’s NOT! I could go on and on about what it’s like to be me, but we all have things to deal with in our lives.

I have a wonderful oncology social worker who is helping me to find my new voice in this new part of my life. One of the things that she has suggested is “Love yourself fiercely”….I like that, I’m trying….. She also had me read Rumi’s “The Guesthouse” recently, pretty powerful stuff. Here is the link if you want to read this poem. http://www.gratefulness.org/poetry/guest_house.htm

I am getting back to my artist self, I have missed creating!! I’m fusing glass and making pendants, assemblage art, re-working dolls that I find at flea markets (horror style). Yes, eventually I will post some pics of my art and I am working on getting an Etsy shop up for my glass work. My camera is a huge part of my world, I love shooting pics….someday I want an extreme zoom lens.

I miss the college days, having a studio to work in, creating nonstop, and exploring ways to express myself.  

Life is a journey! Don’t waste your journey! J

For my friends who are living with Cancer, caring for someone with Cancer or have lost a loved one to Cancer, I send you my love and understanding. I am here if you ever need me!

Now get outside and check out the Super Moon and start watching for the meteor shower!

 That’s where I will be later tonight.  

Make a wish if you see a shooting star!!

Peaceful wishes & Love

Rebecca